sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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