I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize