one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
