ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
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