I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I puked a lego.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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