rhymes with "ouble enetration"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
