would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
