he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
