so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
