And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
