at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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