I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
