I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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