singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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