Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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