I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
