News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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