I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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