Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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