her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize