ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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