and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
