yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
