If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize