in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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