Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
