So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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