Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Houston, we have a squirter
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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