in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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