after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
