Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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