I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
