problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
