my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
