Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
