Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
