you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I am available for nakedness
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