she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
