it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
