I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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