My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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