so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
