Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize