My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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