idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
