i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
