Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
