I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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