rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
