..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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