return my video game
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
