In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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