How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
