I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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