Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
