Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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