mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
