at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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