no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
