How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
